wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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