even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
