even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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