This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
