Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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