Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
