It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
