glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize