I wanna bring you to show and tell
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
