I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Maybe he injected his testicle?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize