I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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