Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize