Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
