His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
