You're so nebulous sometimes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
