just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
