i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
birth control should be required to get into college
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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