): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
