guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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