No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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