take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
