do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize