Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
