how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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