Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
