Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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