my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
