So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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