I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
