Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize