K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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