Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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