Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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