My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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