What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize