Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish i was in the wii world.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Let's get the cat blown out
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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