nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize