Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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