It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
