i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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