You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
