I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
