Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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