Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
