I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
