My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
