She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
