It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize