It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you never un-have a 4some
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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