Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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