I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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