you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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