I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
