your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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