24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
