It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
