I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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