Don't you send me to vm
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
