she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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