dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
