Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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