Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize